Eating an Apple

This week’s Trying It On brings a metaphor that introduces the concept of acceptance: the Eating an Apple exercise. It’s particularly helpful for clients grappling with significant life changes, such as retirement, illness, or an empty nest. When clients feel stuck comparing their current circumstances to the past, this metaphor gently guides them toward experiencing the present as it is, rather than resisting it by wishing it were something else.

Exercise Instructions

Step 1: Set the Stage
Start by introducing the metaphor. Explain that this exercise is about how we engage with our experiences. You might say:

• “When life changes, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing how things are now to how they were before. This comparison often creates resistance and stops us from fully engaging with the present. Let’s explore this idea through a simple metaphor: eating an apple.”

Step 2: Describe the First Way to Eat the Apple
Paint a vivid picture of eating an apple with resistance. You can say:

• “Imagine you’re eating an apple, but you’re eating it because you feel like you ‘should.’ Maybe you’re trying to be healthy and avoiding cupcakes. As you eat the apple, you compare every bite to what it isn’t—it’s not rich or fudgy like the cupcake you’d rather have. Each crunch feels like a reminder of what you’re missing. By the time you finish, you’re unsatisfied and might even eat the cupcake anyway.”

Pause and ask the client to reflect:

• “What’s it like to imagine eating the apple this way?”
• “Have you ever approached something in life like this—engaging with it while focusing on how it’s not what you want?”

Step 3: Describe the Second Way to Eat the Apple
Now, shift to the second approach. Say:

• “Now, let’s try a different way of eating the apple. Imagine allowing the apple to be exactly what it is—not a cupcake, just an apple. With each bite, you notice the crispness, the juiciness, the sweetness. You’re not comparing it to anything else; you’re just experiencing the apple for what it is.”

Ask the client to reflect again:

• “How does this second way of eating the apple feel different?”
• “What might it be like to experience the present moment this way—without comparing it to the past or wishing it were different?”

Step 4: Connect the Metaphor to the Client’s Life
Help the client apply this metaphor to their current challenges. Ask:

• “Are there any areas in your life right now where you feel like you’re ‘eating an apple’ but wishing it were something else?”
• “What might it look like to let the experience be what it is, rather than comparing it to something else or wishing it were different?”

If the client is open to it, explore small, practical ways they can practice this kind of acceptance in daily life. For example, noticing the details of their morning routine or savoring a simple meal without distraction.

Reflection

As the session ends, invite the client to reflect:

• “What stands out to you about this metaphor?”
• “How might practicing this kind of acceptance change how you approach life’s challenges?”

Encourage them to experiment with “eating the apple” in their own lives, paying attention to how it feels to accept and engage with the present moment, even when it’s not ideal.

For the Clinician: Observations and Insights

Notice how the client responds to this metaphor:

• Does it resonate with their experience?
• Are they able to identify areas where comparison or resistance is creating struggle?
• How do they describe the difference between resisting and accepting their current reality?

The Eating an Apple metaphor is a simple yet powerful way to introduce acceptance and its benefits. Keep observing, adapting, and reflecting on how it lands with different clients.