By Todd Schmenk, LMHC
Introduction: The Trouble with “Holding Space”
“Just hold space.”
It’s a phrase you hear often in therapeutic circles. Meant to convey nonjudgmental presence and emotional safety, it has become a kind of shorthand for compassionate care. And while the intention is admirable, the practice—when misapplied or left unexamined—can be deeply problematic.
When therapists settle into a stance of passive observation under the guise of holding space, they may inadvertently reinforce the very patterns clients are seeking to change. Worse yet, this passive stance is not only detrimental to clients—it can also burn therapists out. Why? Because sitting with stuckness without direction leads both parties to remain stuck together.
This article offers a reframing of therapeutic presence—not as passive holding, but as active guidance—informed by Functional Contextualism (FC), Relational Frame Theory (RFT), and Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
From Passive Holding to Contextual Movement
Functional Contextualism: Behavior Has a Function
In FC, every behavior—thought, feeling, action—is understood in relation to its context and evaluated based on its workability. That is, does the behavior help the individual move toward valued living within their current and historical context?
From this lens, the idea of “just holding space” fails the workability test if it does not help the client move. If the client's patterns are dominated by avoidance, fusion, or withdrawal, then remaining inert with them in session does not interrupt that pattern—it perpetuates it. And when clinicians stay in that space too long, they become part of the unworkable context, inadvertently reinforcing the very dynamics they were trained to disrupt.
Relational Frame Theory: The Glue of Stuckness
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