Ball in a Pool

In this week’s Trying It On exercise, we explore the Ball in a Pool metaphor, a powerful way to demonstrate the struggle of trying to control unwanted thoughts and feelings. This metaphor helps clients see how acceptance and willingness can free them from exhausting and counterproductive efforts to fight their internal experiences.

Exercise Instructions

Step 1: Set the Stage
Begin by introducing the idea of control and its limitations. Say:

• “Sometimes, we try to control difficult thoughts and feelings, pushing them away or holding them down. This might work for a little while, but it can often feel exhausting and ineffective. Let’s explore this idea through a metaphor.”

Step 2: Describe the Struggle
Invite the client to imagine being in a swimming pool with a ball. Say:

• “Imagine you’re holding a ball in a pool, and you don’t want it to be there. You’re trying to push it underwater to keep it out of sight. But no matter how hard you push, the ball keeps popping back up. The more you try to control it, the more energy you use, and the ball never really goes away. It stays right there with you, close and demanding your attention.”

Ask the client to reflect:

• “What do you think it would feel like to keep fighting with the ball like this?”
• “Does this remind you of any struggles you’ve had with your own thoughts or feelings?”

Step 3: Offer the Alternative
Now, introduce the alternative approach. Say:

• “What if, instead of fighting with the ball, you just let it float on the water? It might stay nearby, and you might not like it, but you wouldn’t have to spend all your energy holding it down. And maybe, over time, it might even drift to the other side of the pool. Either way, you’d be free to use your arms to swim and enjoy the pool.”

Guide the client to imagine this scenario and reflect:

• “How does it feel to imagine letting the ball float instead of holding it underwater?”
• “What do you notice about the energy you’d save by not struggling with the ball?”

Step 4: Relate to Real Life
Help the client connect the metaphor to their own experiences. Ask:

• “Are there any thoughts or feelings in your life right now that feel like that ball—things you’re trying to push away or control?”
• “What might it be like to let those thoughts or feelings ‘float’ instead of fighting with them?”

Encourage the client to experiment with this idea in their daily life, practicing acceptance by letting unwanted thoughts or feelings be present without struggling to control them.

Reflection

Wrap up the exercise by asking the client to reflect on their insights:

• “What stood out to you about this metaphor?”
• “How might this approach change the way you respond to difficult thoughts or feelings?”

Highlight that acceptance doesn’t mean liking or wanting the ball (or the thought or feeling); it’s simply about freeing oneself from the exhausting and futile struggle to control what can’t be controlled.

For the Clinician: Observations and Insights

As you use this exercise, observe:

• How does the client respond to the metaphor?
• Can they identify specific areas of their life where they are fighting the “ball”?
• Do they express curiosity or openness to experimenting with letting their “ball” float?

The Ball in a Pool metaphor is a simple yet effective way to help clients understand the cost of struggle and the freedom that comes with willingness.